(150 words) “Straight” Acting

“I don’t get this shit,” he said, pointing at the personals in the back of the gay newspaper.

“Is there a more self hating term for a fag to use than ‘straight-acting’? Talk about a boner killer.”

“Pro tip: Sucking cock or getting fucked is hardly something a straight person would do. Kneeling and begging for it isn’t incredibly straight either.”

“Here we are, decades past Stonewall and someone wants to fuck you, but in a ‘straight way.’ That shit is fucked up.”

“Maybe it is somebody’s way of saying ‘I’m new to gay sex’?”

“Then just SAY that. It’s time for gays writing personal ads to use their ‘big boy words’ and stop with the stupidity.”

“Oh, I know. We could teach an online course, ‘Personal Ads: Let’s get you fucked.’”

“I can see you with the Madonna headset, like a pornographic yet inspirational TED Talk.”

“It really is all about the accessories, isn’t it? I’m in!”