There is a spider living on my desk. The first time he introduced himself I leapt away from my desk and screamed like a three year old. I ran out to my husband reading in the other room, “There is a giant spider on my desk!”
As usual, he calmly stared me over his reading glasses.
“Look how big you are!,” he said pausing and giving me that you are being a silly little man look, “Stocky, nearly six foot tall, bearded. Imagine what he says to HIS husband when he returns, “I saw the bearded giant today, he leapt up and ran away from me like schoolgirl.”
Without saying another word, he returned to his book of the moment.
I considered his response for a few days actually, when it appeared again. I hesitated, pushing my chair back and eyed him carefully. He wasn’t all that pretty. He was dirty dark colour. I supposed that perhaps that was the in fashion this spring for spiders. Dark, mysterious, aloof. It’s also probably the best color to blend in and not be seen till he’s making another insect a tasty snack.
A tasty snack, I snickered to myself. Then my mind wondered, what other insects are in the house that he’d be snacking on? Jesus, my house in infested!
I asked him outloud what the dish du jour was that evening. I wonder what his spider senses did with that input, if it even could hear or comprehend it was being spoken to. It moved. I scooted my chair back a bit more.
Then, as if to say, “I’ve wasted enough time already” he scurried around my speaker and disappeared into the darkness.
We have seen each other a few more times now. Mostly late at night when I’m up writing and he figures I’ve already gone to bed. You can see him stop on the desk and say “goddamnit, go to bed,” and that’s usually a good cue for me to do just that.