“I’ve seen you at the gym and at a few parties. It’s nice to see you here.”

“Why is that nice?”

“Well, at the gym I’m with a trainer and working hard and just catch a glance here or there. and at parties we always seem to pass quietly or be across the room from one another.”

“Why is that?”

“Well because I feel fat and unsociable at the gym – and overwhelmed by all of it at parties.”

“So you Scruff to talk to people?”

“Well, it seems easier to tell someone they are hot here than it does to their face without warning at a party in front of other people or their workout partner.”

“Complimenting someone is harder in person?”

“No – but going directly for the primal jugular, in person – without context, would probably be pretty rude but on on here – with your shirt off in your profile pic and your profile mentioning how you like nerdy guys with big minds and soft lips? well that makes it easier.”

“I suppose it does. I bet you have both.”

“I do”

“Do you know that pastry and teashop on 3rd, next where the old trashy bar used to be?”

“The End – LOL – yes, where everyone used to call it the toilet because it where everyone washed down to until finally stammering home?”

“Yes – that one. There is actually a very fine pastry shop there. Why don’t you put on a favorite shirt, and meet me there at 10.”

“a favorite shirt?”

“and be ready to tell me why it’s your favorite.”

“okay. and pants.”

“Probably wise, at least on the first date.”

“this is date?”

“Isn’t it?”

“from a hookup app?”

“if it were a hookup you’d be getting my address and enough to time to clean out, but I asked you to pretentious tea and pastry, so I would call that a date.”

“point taken.”

“you’re new at this aren’t you?”

“yes. I suppose.”

“How long ago did he leave you?”

“what? who?”

“your ex.”

“I usually think it’s bad form to talk about ugly people on first dates.”




“it’s a date.”

“yes it is. I am logging off now.”

“see you there.”