"OMG. 9 - 1 - 1 YOU MUST COME TO THE BAKERY AISLE RIGHT NOW - the text had read.
Bill pushed the cart into bakery to see his husband standing with a handful of the splendidly besprinkled sugar cookies.
"This was the emergency you 9-1-1'd me all the way across the store for?"
"LOOK AT THEM - these are the solve for so many of the world's problems! right here."
"sprinkled sugar cookies, how so?"
"imagine how it would change EVERYTHING, particularly religion!"
"Just imagine how long the lines would be for communion at St. Matthews if the communion wafer was replaced with these," he said, taking one cooking and holding it in his left hand, performing the sign of the cross, "Take. eat, and have a sugary, buttery flavorgasm in remembrance of me! - I mean - it rewrites three parts of the new testament in one blow. Take that Mark, Luke AND Corinthians! It's all suddenly a whole lot sexier. Communion wafers are so 12th century, they need to modernize. We could replace communion wine with chocolate milk -- and save thousands of souls in the process."
"I think changing out food items is missing the point."
"nope, not lost on me. I get it body of christ, blood of christ. but as long as it still transubstantiatiates. You've seen the articles showing how people going to church, as a percentage of the population, is on the decline. Why not use better tasting, more satisfying carbohydrates? 800% more satisfying body of christ? Thats a 799% improvement. "
"it strikes me we'd just have chubbier Christians, and the same problems."
"You're not seeing the big picture, yet. We could solve world hunger by making cookies with sprinkles made of superfood like quinoa or little kale sprinkles."
"You make the sprinkles inside full of kale - - the antoxidants, vitamins C, A and K. Give the people what the want - and hide the nutrition in the sprinkles," he paused seeing the skeptical look from his husband.... "You are not letting me show you the big picture. Kale sprinkles and cupcakes could change the world."
"so we should get a dozen to test this theory?"
"You've shopped with me before, right?" he said, happily realizing they were coming home with a dozen research cookies.