Flame On!

“I think Stan Lee is gay.”

“and what do we base this amazing revelation upon?”

“Just look at his body of work, sculpted abs on beautiful men leaping around and doing good things. and pretty costumes. Just because they’ve never drawn Wolverine and Dr. Doom having incredible buttsex doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”

“Really, what about all the type-a male violence and sexism in comic books?”

“oh get over it – Stan was writing in the 50s and 60s, everything was violent and sexist.”

“But….. somehow also, ultragay?”

“exactly, take Jonathan Storm for example….”

“Who?”

“Jonathan Storm AKA The Human Torch? Fantastic Four? stay with me here – I mean – who else but a gay man would write a character that screams ‘Flame on!’, he said reaching his hands above his head like a Vegas showgirl, “when he needs his super powers, That’s some megaserious, o.m.g. level faggotry right there. When I as six – I leapt off the roof of our house screaming, “FLAME ON!” and of course, fell and broke my arm. and ever since, I’ve been convinced Stan Lee was gay. ”

“You what? Of course you did,” he said laughing,”First – pot calling the kettle black, second – how is this story related? and third – I don’t read comic books but I’m pretty sure he never said it as flamboyantly as you just did, or he would have set several cities blocks on fire every time he did so.”

“You know, jealousy like that is a really ugly color on you.”

“mmhmm…..”