It was great meeting you today about our room for rent on Caselli. As much as it pains me to do so, I need to tell that we’re sorry, but we can’t rent the room to you. Your references check out, your dog is super cute, and your credit is immaculate. But, one of the few household rules is never rent to someone that everyone in the house wants to sleep with.

Poor Mike, the one that greeted you at the door, hyperventilated after you left. Bill downstairs discussed mounting a camera in the shower. It just wouldn’t work out. Sexual tension is a recipe for a disaster in a small Castro apartment.

We let a ginger move in once to disastrous consequences, resulting in the Roommates Forever Peace Accord of 2014, forbidding us from renting to someone solely on the basis of us all wanting to score on him. It’s much easier to deal with if it’s just one of us, the others can rally to make sure there is no drama. But in your case, I’m very sorry, but you represent too much household risk.

We simply can’t chance it. I’m sure you can understand. Good luck with your apartment search.

October 13, 2015