I had some really good conversations today with my husband about post election feelings and relationships. He talked me out of my need for closure – writing people letters to ask “what about Trump was so attractive?” or which was it – the misogyny or the xenophobia that made you vote Republican – or was it both?
As David says “If the relationship with you/us means something to them – they’ll come and talk about it with you. They’ll ask ‘how have I hurt you?’ or ‘Can we talk about how this has hurt both of us?’ – and we should be ready to have those conversations. Those that don’t have the conversation? Smile with kindness but let them fade away.
Frankly some of these folks will probably let out a big sigh of relief – “oh that loud bitch is no longer in my life.” Others will realize quickly that David and I are people they miss and I hope they do come talk to us. Right now, I can’t bear to talk about it anymore.
People that supported Trump have permanently changed how I will regard them, how much time I have for them, and how much energy I’ll invest in them.
I used the think politics were simple. I was so wrong. The political is deeply personal – and is a ballot box representation of your world view. And if your world view aligns with the GOP and Donald Trump, you will grow dimmer in mine.
I am really going to try to make this the last “election related” post. I know a lot of you will sigh in relief. But if you’ve seen a din of deep disappointment on my face – a look of true sadness in the last few weeks, this is why.
As for Trump and the GOP – I’m putting my money where my mouth is. I’ll donate the shit out of the ACLU, Lambda Legal Defense Fund and to candidates who match my world view in the midterms and beyond. I won’t be forwarding links to change your minds and educate ya’ll – because if you are on my friends list – you probably agree with me already.
For those of you hurt by my disorienting level of disappointment over the last few weeks, and I know there are some of you, I apologize.
I’m here to talk about better things. The way things are looking we’re going to lean on each other – our friends – more than ever in the next decade. Does it mean I’m done disagreeing? Hardly. but I’m going to get out and shore up the organizations that keep my civil rights and my world view as safe from harm as possible.
I am so thankful for my husband, he’s my even keel, my sage and the love of my life. He literally has talked me down for just scorching the earth under a few people’s feet, including family who we’ve had in our home and felt close to.
These are people he likes and will miss having around. He’s disappointed too, just in the quiet scholarly David way that everyone loves.
Decisions done, I’ll stop processing it so goddamn hard. and disappear to the beach with my best friends for three days and get on with life.