"And just what is this," he protested, brandishing a Subway sandwich wrapper in his hand. "Proof you've been raiding the recycle bin?" "Exactly, explain!" "Um - I like cold cuts? what is your issue?" "So that Jared guy from Subway plead guilty to child pornography charges," he said tapping his foot, "the guy who told us to eat submarine sandwiches, that eating fresh was the path to a healthier life. Follow me? so now that he's thin and wealthy, he's decided to watch and purchase kiddie porn. It's a slippery slope." "That's like suggesting that if I lost 20 pounds I'd break up with you and start dating women." "This coming from the gay man that watches football on Saturday AND Sunday. Why can't you go to the beach with the boys for Parkn'Snark and beer bust like a good queen? I don't even know you any more!", he said in fake protest. "You have nothing to worry about dear. That I like turkey subways doesn't mean I"m on the road to kiddie porn or becoming heterosexual. need I remind you about the hot homosexual sex in the shower just, " he glanced at his watch, "oh, ten minutes ago." "I think I need to get you some donuts-to-go at the gay Safeway just to make sure." "Whatever makes you feel good darling, let's go we're going to be late."