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The Girl from Ipanema Has A Cough

For each day in March 2016, I’ll be writing these 150 word essays based on a sentence provided by a Facebook or Google+ follower of my little essay-lettes. Today’s is from Kenny Hill in Toronto who writes,: “Learning to sing 'The Girl from Ipanema' in Brazilian Portuguese.” - - - - - - - - - "My Bonnie has tuberculosis. My Bonnie has only one lung," he gleefully sang as the car sped down the expressway, "My Bonnie coughs up a raw oyster, then rolls it around on her tongue..... Bring back. Bring - - - - - - - what?" His husband was glaring at him from the passenger seat. "You're disgusting you know that? How does someone grow up with songs like this - about Bonnie and her gross lungs - and I'll still trying to forget the Arnold the Camel Song," dramatically using air quotes as he continued, "from a few miles back." "I was a scholarship baby - my upbringing was McDonalds and the boy scouts. What about you? I bet growing up in the perfect home you learned some fun songs." "Neither of us joined the scouts, but we did sing around the piano. My Dad had a client from Brazil once and I learned and performed "Girl from Ipanema" at the piano in perfect Brazilian Portugese. 'Alto e bronzeado, jovem e linda, A menina de Ipanema vai caminhare' " "That sounds like gay training camp to me. I bet you wore a slinky red dress too - and the good pearls." "We established early in our relationship that I wasn't butch, it just isn't my colour. It clashes with my fabulous," he said snapping in the air. "That's my sweetheart...what if we were singing about the same girl? What if Bonnie, my poor tortured dear is the girl frim ipanema with tuberculosis" "You are not a well woman... you know that?"