"Well, I'd call butt sex a mindfulness exercise."
"Wait, what? Buttsex? I'm going to call Reeses Peanut Butter Cup here. You are getting your mindfulness in my buttsex."
"But what if they work together? and your re-'butt'-al is useful for my point."
"no more puns or I'm hanging up.... okay Budda butt?"
"Deal. although if you present a gorgeous opportunity I may not be able to help myself."
"So - how is buttsex and mindfulness like chocolate and peanut butter?"
"Our routine, our habit, is to be off in our heads somewhere mulling over negativity and struggles of the past, or becoming anxious and fearful of the future. Seldom are we fully 'here'. and to learn to be in the moment, I think sex has lots to offer in the way of opportunities to let go of everything else and be in the moment. I mean, lets be honest - sex can be frought with those tapes - the negativity - times when sex just doesn't work. or the future fears of 'what if he's a lousy lay' - or worse, 'what if I'm a lousy lay?' - - and my point is all those things are an example of falling outside of mindfulness."
"But when i'm enjoying buttsex, I'm enjoying buttsex, its not metaphysical."
"Oh but it is. You're going to tell me that you never let your mind wander during sex? you are absolutely in the moment. no thought of anything else?"
"I don't think anyone can just shut off their brain - whether it's sex or any other activity. I don't want to think 'oh no! i'm not being mindful' while I'm trying to enjoy sex."
"I think it gets easier as we get older, we worry less about the imperfections showing themselves, because we all have them in common. You get naked with someone and it's not "oh - I wish he had this or that" - I think we're more comfortable in our skin - therefore making sharing our skin and admiring someone elses a lot easier.
I'd just like to suggest that when you feel your mind wandering during buttsex - to bring yourself back to your body - and the body of the man or woman you are with. Look for the beauty in that particular moment. We're all human - we are going to be distracted. but I just thought discussing mindfulness from the point of view of mindful buttsex might frame it in a context that could help you understand and learn more about what it means."
"I do love buttsex."
"We all do, darlin' - we all do."
25. April 2018