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“Doesn’t this Utilikilt look great on me?” he asks. So not fair. In nearly 30 years of cultivated faggotry, I’ve only ever seen one man that looked good in a Utilikilt. I mean, even photographs their models from miles away because they make most guys look like a moldy wheel of goat curd. So, first part of this scenario is my husband asking me the gay version of “Do these jeans make my ass look fat?” To which always the answer should be, “No hon, it’s your ass.” The second is, he’s chosen one that is this weird salmon color. My sweetheart wearing a salmony cheese-curd skirt. The smile on his face says he feels really sexy. The way it looks on him says save it for special occasions, like never. But goddamnit, it makes my sugarbear happy. “It looks great, honey. Get one if you’d like.”