The bar manager approached me apprehensively as I was setting up the sound equipment. Thursday nights the bar hosted ‘Beareaoke’ for the local bear club to come and drink beers and sing.
“We have a problem, Bill,” he said. ”Rex at the bar double-booked Beareaoke with Red Hanky Social Night. What will we do?”
“Me and Gladys,” I said, referring to the drag queen I cohosted with, ”are showmen; we’ll figure it out.”
Gladys showed up perfectly dressed in a bright red sequin dress. She and I talked about the situation, and decided on the perfect solution. The bar started filling with a mix of bears and the expected guys flagging red left and right. It was show time, and Gladys stepped up to the microphone.
“Welcome to Beareoke Night at The Dive. Tonight is special. Rex, our hunky bartender, invited the red hanky club along to share this festive evening. So, in honor of that, we will be replacing the word ‘love’ with ‘glove’ in any song you sing this evening.”
I started the machine and Gladys started her opening number. The familiar tones of an Elvis song began. Guys and gals looked at each other a bit confused; Gladys didn’t usually sing Elvis. “Take my hand,” she began, “take my whole arm too. Cuz I can’t help putting my glove in you.” The bar went absolutely ballistic with laughter, and the night was off and running.
Highlights of the evening’s performances included “I Want To Be Gloved By You”, “Where Did Our Glove Go” by the Supremes, “I Think I Glove You” by the Partridge Family, “All You Need is Glove” by the Beatles, “Endless Glove” from Diana Ross and Lionel Ritchie, “I’m All Out of Glove” by Air Supply, a show stopping “How Deep is Your Glove” from the BeeGees, finally ending at 2 a.m. with a drunken, lighters out, swaying, stirring rendition of “Seasons of Glove” from Rent.
this a favorite excerpt from my collection of short stories, “Brief Moments”